一篇短文，请大家指教

jingjing_lzu

If I Could Invite Three Famous People to Dinner
If I could invite three famous people to dinner, I’d like to invite U.S. president George W. Bush, Microsoft founder Bill Gates, Nobel Prize in physics winner American scientists John C. Mather.
In present , the principle is development and peace all of the world. Without doubt, George W. Bush is a person who influence the peace of the world very much, his decisions have much effect on the world. He will give more peace to the world as long as he want. Microsoft former chairman, the one of the most wealthy people in world, is a very successful businessman. We can learn many things from him about how to be a successful businessman, and how to make our country get more development. Noble Prize, well-known as the highest honor in the science study, present the peak of the science. it is a pity that there is no Nobel Prize winner in Chinese. So we must study from Noble Prize winner John C. Mather , maybe wo can learn how can Chinese win Noble Prize.
We all want the world to be more peaceful, and our country to be more developed.

banjeminwu

If I Could Invite Three Famous People to Dinner

If I could invite three famous people to dinner, I’d like to invite U.S. president George W. Bush, Microsoft founder Bill Gates, 差个连接词and Nobel Prize in physics winner American scientists John C. Mather.

In present , the principle is development and peace all of the world. 这句话不是很明白，估计是想说和平与发展是当今世界的主题吧？？还有一般都说“和平与发展”，不说“发展与和平” Today peace and development is still the theme.   

Without doubt, George W. Bush is a person who influence 这里应该加s ，改为influences, 因为前面是第三人称单数 the peace of the world very much  very much 是否可以考虑直接在influence 前加greatly, his decisions have much effect on the world. 感觉和前面的有些重复了He will give more peace to the world as long as he want 这里应该加s ，理由同前。另这句意思好像有些问题，暂时还没有想出解决的办法.

Microsoft former chairman, 这里感觉很怪，能不能说Bill Gates, the former chairman of Microsoft,一般我看见的说什么前总裁或主席的，都在那个什么后面加’s，这里即microsoft’s   the one of the most wealthy 不是the most 而是wealthiest  people in world 这里应该是in the world , is a very successful businessman.

We can learn many things from him about how to be a successful businessman, 感觉不需要逗号and how to make our country get more development. ？？不是很明白

Noble Prize, well-known as the highest honor in the science study, present the peak of the science 动词的问题，第三人称单数，这里用present是什么意思？诺贝尔奖给大家的研究提供的了动力？.

it大写 is a pity that there is no Nobel Prize winner in Chinese 这个最好改为no Chinese winner. So we must study from Noble Prize winner John C. Mather , maybe wo 是we吧？还有那个so 感觉很突然。can learn how can Chinese win Noble Prize. 这里how引导的是个从句了，所以应该修改语序。

We all want the world to be more peaceful, and our country to be more developed. 最后一句和前面的关联不是很大啊。

先汗一个，水平有限，我只是按自己的想法修改了一下，下面的朋友多提提意见。