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发表于 2006-11-23 13:27:12
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My name is ***. I was born on Jan 这种情况一般不用缩写9th, 1985. I graduate from Zhejiang University in July, 2006. 看不出你是想表达“已经毕业”还是“将于 in July, 2006毕业”，按理说应该毕业了，就应该说graduated
my major is Biosystem Engineering. I’m interested in Biological Systems Engineering and I attend have attended many activities to foster 很少见这种搭配，用develop较好吧？the abilities in 通过“through”research of biological systems during my campus life.
During the time period four years in Zhejiang University, I devoted myself to research, such as auto-navigate of agricultural machine and real-time soluble solids content evaluation of peach by near infrared spectroscopy, and I have published a paper at SPIE as 应该为with the name of Design and validation of software for real-time soluble solids content evaluation of peach by near infrared spectroscopy. Also, my undergraduate study gives 改为provides me a lot of opportunities to accumulate 你见过这种搭配吗？我没见过，最好核实一下considerable capability and I become increasingly adapted to analyzing and solving problems. And finally I was 最好改为am sure that an academic career as a researcher is my overall educational goal.
The best way to ensure my success as a researcher of Biological systems engineering is to pursue graduate studies in a world-class biological systems engineering program, which would provide me with the opportunity to explore my research interests under the tutelage of experienced and knowledgeable professors. Thus, it is 看你下文你还没被录取呢，因此此处要改为will be my great honor to be admitted by the Department of Biological Systems Engineering at Kangwon National University. Kangwon National University is respected worldwide worldwidely respected for its proud tradition of being a growing, dynamic research centre. The professors here are excellent in teaching and research. Further more这是一个词，应放在一起, I am especially interested in the research topic of Autonomous Guidance Vehicle and Agricultural Robot in the Lab of Professor Beom-Soo Shin.
If it is lucky enough for me to be admitted by Kangwon National University, I will develop my Korean excellently, and then, as a graduate student I will study at the area of Autonomous Guidance Vehicle and Agricultural Robot from Professor Beom-Soo Shin, and I will finish all of the classes such as Automatic control, Advanced measurement, Sensor Technology, Image Processing, Numerical Analysis, Tractor Engineering, Visual C++ programming, Microprocessor application, Advanced Dynamics for the following two years. I plan to learn three courses per semester, and do my graduation project at last term. On the other hand, 你此处和上面的意思没有转折或者两方面的意思，不用用此短语，直接用besides即可 I will work hard at the Lab of Professor Beom-Soo Shin, in order to do my project better; I will learn the software of Labview and Matlab. I deeply 这种用法也很少见吧，汉语里有，但英语好像么见过，去掉即可believe that I can become an outstanding talented person in Kangwon National University此处你是否应该加上谦虚一点的话，比如“在老师的帮助下，经过一段时间的学习”？. |
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uring college, ..............,这样较符合英文的简洁的习惯.